Smothered

The black and cold reminds me
Of all the distance we have crossed
And if your darkness blinds me
I could never be more lost

But I'm not the one who seeks your protection
I'm not the one to share the disguise
And I'm not the one who reeks of rejection
I'm not the one to tear the same way twice

You push from the inside, smothered
You push from the inside out, smothered
You push from the inside, smothered
You push from the inside out

Here, all your walls surround me
They're closing in, they've blocked my sight
The violence around me
Found me when I could not fight

But I'm not the one to take your direction
I'm not the one who wears the disguise
And I'm not the one to share your reflection
I'm not the one you break the same way twice

You push from the inside, smothered
You push from the inside out, smothered
You push from the inside, smothered
You push from the inside out

I will never win
I will never win with you
I will never win
I will never win with you

I read you— I feel you
Wound up no more than you know
I hate you— I still do
Every time you let me go

You push from the inside, smothered
You push from the inside out, smothered
You push from the inside, smothered
You push from the inside out

(I will never win) You push from the inside
(I will never win with you) You push from the inside
(I will never win) You push from the inside
(I will never win with you) You push from the inside

Smothered— I'm smothered