Smaller

It's a tired fascination with everything I'm not
And wasting nights wondering
Trying to figure out
Oh maybe if I'm quiet
Maybe if I'm light
Oh maybe I'll be something
Someone you would like

If I'm smaller and
If I'm different
Just a little less
Would you love me?
If I wasn't this
With some bigger lips
And some smaller hips
Would you love me?

It's an overdone obsession
With chasing what I'm not
And something I've been hiding
Space I'm taking up
And slouching in my shoulders
And curving in my back
Afraid that all this space I'm in
Is just too much to have

If I'm smaller and
If I'm different
Just a little less
Would you love me?
If I wasn't this
With some bigger lips
And some smaller hips
Would you love me?

And I can't change what just stays the same
So I keep trying to love me how I'm made

I know I'm hating on my mother
I'm disrespecting dad
By spending nights trying
To change the way I am
I'm tearing at my structure
Pulling at my skin
Just wishing I was smaller and different
And I'm spitting on the people who love me just like this
Who don't wish that I was smaller or less of anything
And I'm yelling in my silence
So make the voices stop
Let me sleep in quiet
Not thinking that I ought to be

Smaller and different
Just a little less
So you can love me
With none of this
And some bigger lips
And some smaller hips
So you can love me

And I can't change what just stays the same
But I keep trying to love me how I'm made
How I'm made
How I'm made
How I'm made

If I'm smaller and
If I'm different
Just a little less
Would you love me?
If I wasn't this
With some bigger lips
And some smaller hips
Would you love me?