Since I Gave Up Hope, I Feel a Lot Better

Enter the young idealist
Chasing dragons to slay
Exit the hustler
Packing up his M.B.A

Freshmen scream in a classroom
Was there a sound?
First degree in the vacuum
I'm on college ground

Took a class
Big fun
Modern ethics 101
First day learn why
Ethics really don't apply
Prof says, "One trait
Takes us to a higher state
Drug free, pure bliss
Get your pencils, copy this:

"Life unwinds like a cheap sweater
But since I gave up hope I feel a lot better
And the truth gets blurred like a wet letter
But since I gave up hope I feel a lot better"

Top of the class sits Ernest
He was brightest and best
Till the professor lured him
To the hopeless nest

Now he lives for the shortcut
Like a citizen should
Tells the class with a wink
"only the young die good."

He says, "Ideals? Uncouth
Fatalism needs youth
Eat well, floss right
Keep the hungry out of sight
Save face--nip and tuck
Praise yourself and pass the buck
Don't forget the best advice
Everybody's get a price

"Life unwinds like a cheap sweater
But since I gave up hope I feel a lot better
And the truth gets blurred like a wet letter
But since I gave up hope I feel a lot better

"While the world winds down to a final prayer
Nothing soothes quicker than complete despair
I predict by dinner I won't even care
Since I gave up hope I feel a lot better"

Nazis plead in a courtroom
"Pardon me, boys"
Profits fall in a boardroom
Did they make a noise?

Someone spreads an affliction
Company's nice
Someone sells an addiction
Puts your soul on ice

Half wits knock heads
Candidates in double beds
Good guys defect
"I can't precisely recollect"
Teacher's pet theory's fine
If you're born without a spine
Can't you spell wrong?
Sing it to him Papa John