​silver, reapers, and roses

You've held the gun to my head and I'll load it

I waste time getting faded
'Cause in the mirror staring back at me is hatred
I hate the one I've created
So I'll spend more time getting wasted
You know the smile that I've painted
You haven't met the demons that invaded
They've made me do things, they've persuaded
Silver, reapers, and roses

I find it so hard to be open
'Cause if one door opens, one closes
I've tried so hard but I'm broken
So long, goodbye like lil lotus
Small orange bottles, huge doses
But nothing can cure this diagnoses
I'm like a grenade, bitch, I'm explosive
Destroying everything I hold closest
You've held the gun to my head and I'll load it
Fucking watch as my beaten corpse decomposes
And the only fucking thing I'll ever know is
Silver, reapers, and roses

I watch you bleed
And I've sold my soul
But I'm so scared you'll leave
'Cause I'm all on my own

So I smoke my weed
And I pop these beans
While I'm begging you
Baby, stay with me
I know I'm not worth it
This pain, I deserve it
We worry 'bout the same things
Assuming the worst shit

I love the feeling of nothing at all
High off the pills, waiting for your call
Your tongue in my mouth and I taste alcohol
I know you love me but you'd rather patron
I hate knowing all these things
But you're my drug and I know I can't leave
I'm not saying I'm perfect, I know I'm not worth it
But shit I'm being strangled by my own strings

You've held the gun to my head and I'll load it
Fucking watch as my beaten corpse decomposes
And the only fucking thing I'll ever know is
Silver, reapers, and roses