Siam

You can look this wide world over
You can search both land and sea
But you'll never find another man like me
If you listen to my story I will tell you who I am
I'm the greatest man in Siam, yes I am
I'm the greatest man in Siam, yes I am
There's no greater man in Siam than I am
Oh, when I go walking by the women all give me the eye
I'm the greatest man in Siam, yes I am
Oh no you ain't! Oh yes I am!
Oh no you ain't! Oh yes I am!
I'm the greatest man in Siam, yes I am
Why, I've got sixteen double chins
I'm father of Siamese twins
I'm the greatest man in Siam, yes I am

I'm the fastest man in Siam, yes I am
There's no faster man in Siam than I am
Lightning don't scare me a bit
'Cause I can dodge before I'm hit
I'm the fastest man in Siam, yes I am
Oh no you ain't! Oh yes I am!
Oh no you ain't! Oh yes I am!
I'm the fastest man in Siam, yes I am
When I call on my sweetheart
I get there long before I'm start
'Cause I'm the fastest man in Siam, yes I am

I'm the richest man in Siam, yes I am
There's no richer man in Siam than I am
I wear diamonds on my nose
And platinum toe nails on my toes
I'm the richest man in Siam, yes I am
Oh no you ain't! Oh yes I am!
Oh no you ain't! Oh, what's happening?
I'm the richest man in Siam, yes I am
I've got castles filled with gold
Liquor 99 years old
I'm the richest man in Siam, yes I am