Shticks and Stones

[parody of "Blue Tail Fly"]
Oh salesmen come and salesmen go
And my best one is gone I know
And if he don't come back to me
I'll have to close the factory

Gimme Jack Cohen and I don't care
Gimme Jack Cohen and I don't care
Gimme Jack Cohen and I don't care
But the bastard's gone away

[parody of "Jamaica Farewell" by Harry Belafonte]
I'm upside down, my head is turning around
Because I gotta sell the house in Levittown

[parody of "Little David, Play On Your Harp"]
Little David Susskind-
Shut up
Please don't talk; please don't talk
Little David Susskind-
Me first
Then you'll talk

[parody of "St. James' Infirmary"]
I went down to Mt. Sinai - Hospital
To see my old zayde there
And I said, Thanks God
For the Blue Cross
And I wish we had the Medicare

[parody of "God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen"]
God bless you, Jerry Mendelbaum
Let nothing you dismay
This May you had a rotten month
So what is there to say
Let's hope next May is better
And good things will come your way
And you won't have a feeling of dismay
Next May

[parody of "When The Saints Go Marching In"]
Oh when the paint'ners
Go marching in
Oh when the paint'ners
Go marching in
Just make sure they put a dropcloth
When the paint'ners go marching in

[parody of "Joshua Fit The Battle Of Jericho"]
Yasha got a bottle of Geritol
Geritol, Geritol
Yasha got a bottle of geritol
And he knocked a whole in the wall
That's all
No wall

[parody of "I Will Give My Love An Apple"]
I gave my love a chicken
It had no bone
I gave my love a cherry
It had no stone
I gave my love a baby
And then, you see
My love got very angry and she said to me

I didn't mind the chicken
Without the bone
I didn't mind the cherry
Without the stone
But when you give a baby
It's just one thing
You oughta give at least
An engagement ring

[parody of Stephen Foster's "The Camptown Races (Gwine To Run All Night)"]
The Catskill ladies sing this song
Hoo-hah, Hoo-hah
Sitting on the front porch playing Mah-Jongg
All hoo-hah day

[parody of "The Yellow Rose Of Texas"]
Oh I'm Melvin Rose of Texas
And my friends all call me Tex
When I lived in old New Mexico
They used to call me Mex
When I lived in old Kentucky
They called me Old Kentuck
I was born in old Shamokin
Which is why they call me Melvin Rose

[parody of "Shortenin' Bread"]
Mammy's little baby loves matzoh, matzoh
Mammy's little baby loves matzoh balls
Mammy's little baby wants pots and pots of
Lots and lots of matzoh balls

Stole the skillet
Stole the lead
Stole a lotta balls
Made of Pesach bread
Stole the chicken
Out of the soup
Stole the pot
And made a lot of chicken soup

Mammy's little baby loves matzoh, matzoh
Mammy's little baby loves matzoh balls
Mammy's little baby wants pots and pots of
Lots and lots of mat-zoh - oh! - balls