Shoving Myself Away

[Verse]
Look outside for better days
Why do I do? I shove away
Why do I shove myself away?
All this shit I didn't take
All this shit I didn't take
I'm smoking all myself away
Finding why I'm here today
Why did I go do that?
I can't look back, none of that
I swear I do this for the facts
I don't do this for couple of bucks
I can't shove myself away
I need to find a new escape
I'm highly annoyed, shoved away
I'm locking myself away
I don't even know what it takes
Here, immortal, ayy
Why do I even shove away?
I'm stuck here and cold
And I'm making up a wave, wave
I had no other route to take
I'm over, they look menacing
I don't even want to shove away
I'm losing my mind every day
Every fucking hour, tryna see what's in store
I don't need it anymore (What's in store)
I've already had my share of times
I need plenty more
Can't go away, just scared
I need that better pitch or key
And I keep doing this to my brain cells
I swear I need one minute 'fore I blast down all the way to hell
I need some sunshine, of course, barely go outside anyway
Turn into a hermit over nothing, I swear they all are the same
Gotta protect what you got 'cause it's all you gonna get
I swear that this operation is the coldest one yet
I have no reason to suspect any bullshit effects
Before the recent fuss, I keep it, right their wrongs
In the way, just 'cause there's obstacles in the way
Just 'cause there's opps in the way
I do not count they say, they can say it in my face
I'll give them prolapses, my bad, that's awful to say
Tell bitch, "I'm insecure," but all these other opps' fakes
I had a musical fuss, such as the ones whose pact
Pass down the fucking torch
For all these lil' dorks to come forth
I had enough of waiting, I'm gonna take it all away
From you like I'm a parent 'cause I am