Shoulda Stayed Home

I got my bags all packed and I’m ready and raring to go
I’ve never been away from home but there’s no time like now
I’ve got dollars in my pocket and a wonderful travelling attitude
It’s gonna be one big party and I’m the biggest party dude
I don’t know much about any foreign lands
Just that we won the wars there and they think we’re all in band
In a band [x2]
I’ve heard a few stories ‘bout the primitive life over there
But I’m a man, I can take it and I’ve got money to spare
I’m on a mission doing babes, I’m a macho no shit guy
And if the going gets tough, I’ll have to kick some ass or die trying
Well, I’m a product of freedom and opportunity
I’m democracy in action, don’t fuck with me
No, no
We’re the red, white and blue crew
Don’t you forget: we protect you
We’ll make you need us, make you believe us, make you understand [x2]
Now that I’m here I think these foreigners are a drag
They don’t all understand me and this gibberish they speak is for fags
Everything’s expensive and I’m tired and I wanna go home
Call me Yanqui imperialista, think we’re violent morons
Now I’ve done foreign lands
The food is shit and the chicks are snobs
They come to my country and they take our jobs, oh yea