[Verse 1]
Well, I had a dream the other night
And this one was a nightmare and I almost died of fright
I dreamt the whole world was a TV set
Where what you see is exactly what you get
It was a brand new light in the dark
It was a brand new version of Noah's ark
And even the carpenter has handed in his tools
And climbed on board that ship of fools
[Verse 2]
Well, the kids learn to watch instead of to do
Learnin' to imitate people like you
And wantin' things to put on their shelf
And wantin' mirrors to look at 'emselves
And learning that weaknеss is quicker than strength
And the fountain of youth is laughtеr at length
And rather than be nice, it's fun to be cruel
And be accepted on that ship of fools
[Verse 3]
And the mothers drool over Telly Savalas
And make fun of 'emselves for a chance for the dollars (Nice rhyme, huh?)
Tradin' what's in their hand
For what used to be in their minds
And there's no need to try anything new
It's all been done (We do it all for you)
And there's never any hunger for lack of food
For greed is king on the ship of fools
[Verse 4]
Call up the precinct, the rolling pin flies again
In the kitchen of commerce of let's pretend
And the friendly policeman, he saves the day
And moans how he's overworked and he's underpaid
And he gives you the dope on smack and speed
And then sells you pills to help you sleep
And tune in next week when on April Fools'
Someone hijacks the ship of fools
(Did someone say hijack? Hi Mom! It's a football joke)
[Verse 5]
And they even have one for black folks too
And token commercials 'cause they buy things too
It's a father and son who laugh so hard
That poverty's as fun as playin' in a junkyard
And they all aspire to that great white dream
Of color TV where collards are green
Cryin' "What the hell's wrong with loose shoes?"
As he shuffles on board the ship of fools
[Verse 6]
And Grandma and Grandpa get tickets early
And do-si-do to Lawrence of Suburbia
And a-one-and-a-two and a-hocus-pocus
We turn you into vegetables so you won't know us
It's a babysitter for every age
There's no need to buy a cage
And just because Grandma drools
We load her on board that ship of fools
[Verse 7]
Well, cowboy hats and a new cologne
We'll sell you anything with a brand new show
And a show that happens in the Lone Star State
Sells everything bigger and better, with a slight rebate
And TV's ruined my local bar
And I don't give a shit who shot JR
Put the ass back in a tex-ass bar stool
Hey, who's killing who on this ship of fools?
('Bout now is when everyone says
"Well, I just watch the educational programs")
[Verse 8]
Well, here's the one you just have to watch
It's an acquired taste like drinking scotch
It's a real live educational play
For adults only, direct from Broadway
And there's no commercials until the end
When this oil company man comes out to lend
You some advice on those ecology fools
Who are trying to sink his ship of fuels
[Verse 9]
Now here's Johnny to wrap up the show
And keep insomniacs and cynics in the know
And pick apart all of your heroes
They say dyin' in your sleep is an easy way to go
And as quick as you can think up new things
They use 'em to make the cash register ring
And no one sees the danger of nature's rules
You can't overload that ship of fools
(Here comes the epilog
As you may recall from the first verse, this was only a dream)
[Verse 10]
Well, I woke up in the afternoon
In time to see Walter on the evening news
He said there was a poet who was found crucified
And the police had ruled it an apparent suicide
It seems he'd witnessed a political crime
And called up to demand equal time
But that's against the FCC's rules
That ship of state is only a ship of fools (What'd you say?)
That ship of state is only a ship of— (Louder, I can't hear you)
That ship of state is only a ship of— (One more time)
That ship of state is only a ship of—
Ship of Fools was written by Jack Hardy.