Sewers of the Strand

(Phew!)

[Spoken]
Yes folks, I can understand their feelings because they are about to play...

[sung]
Sideways through the sewers of the strand
On a Sunday afternoon
Sideways through the sewers of the strand
Will be our honeymoon
Ankle deep folks in sludge dear
We'll walk hand in hand
They do say that the sewers of the strand
Are the finest in the land

Sideways through the sewers of the Strand
Will be paradise for two
Who cares if the atmosphere is blue
'Cause there's nothing wrong
With a good old British pong
Sideways through the sewers of the Strand with you....

[Spoken]
Ah my darling little bride
We meet by accident folks, she ran over me with a tram
Her name was Buler, mine was Jim
I was glad they called me Jim, folks, because that was my name
I found that she had been going out with an Irish dentist called Phil
McCavity
He walked with a pronounced limp, l-i-m-p pronounced limp, folks
Oh the worry turned me grey
This gave me a strange appearance as I was bald at the time
Ah, the first time I met her was late early one morning in Spring
There was a heavy dew on the grass
He had just been thrown out of a synagogue for eating during the sermon
I told her "Darling, let me take you away from the squalor you live
In, and live in the squalor I live in"
So, we were married in the Spring, folks
We had the reception in the pond
There was plenty to drink folks
And then off we went! Folks!

Sideways through those naughty sewers of the naughty
Strand will be a paradise for two, not one but two, folks
Who cares if the atmosphere is blue. Phew!
'Cause there's nothing wrong, is there
With a good old old British PONG!

[Sung]
Sideways through the sewers of the Strand with you
I don't mean maybe

(some chattering)