Settle the Scar

Dizzy, drunk and throwing up
I finally stopped my spinning
I guess I figured you'd show up
With all my old belongings
Saying "there you go my friend
I'm sure you've saved another"
Collapsing walls around me
I need some brick and mortar

Took a swing at shortened cuts
Made a wrong turn somewhere
Unprepared for fucking up
Should remind me I'm still there
And I am feeling sharpened splinters
Cutting through my center
To hear you as you're coming around again

You've taken pages from a book
You couldn't see your face in
Claimed the author was a crook
In need of illustration
And you were begging me for more
Did you get what you wanted?
The feeling in your fingers
Right back from where you started?

You made a map of how you loved
And drew a perfect circle
I scribbled a Venn diagram
Guess I lost my stable hand
And I am feeling long cold winters
I'm lost and can't remember
The ways to keep myself as warm as then

I owned your name, your body shape
It sits like family, a grateful offering reflected on the lake
New slight of hand will trick my memory
A veil on everything
The paths that you could take

You said you see life in exploding color
Like the flash of stars
Or New England autumn
I should've asked if you could stay
I should've found a way around it
Because now all I see is grey
All trapped in memories that surround it

And in your father's summer home
He squared and framed the question
Collage of newsprint on the wall
Makes me feel cut in sections
And I am shaking off my chagrin
Flaking snow and dead skin
That buried me in all my past mistakes

I should've asked if you could stay