September 21st

Verse 1
At a mere 15, I never would've thought
Life could be so cruel, until your death is what it brought
I was young and naive, never stopped to perceive
Never wanted to believe that one day you could leave
Till I saw you in that casket, I was down on my knees
Surrounded in a pain that I knew would never ease
Thrown into the system with my future unclear
Group homes, foster care, it was all so surreal
Started writing out my pain, it was my only way to deal
Became a ward of the state, barely had enough for meals
I remember missing you, a million thoughts on my dome
Had a roof over me but those houses weren't homes
I'm not ashamed to say I was drowning in confusion
Different sights every night, life became an illusion
Numb was the only feeling that I ever remember
Every year a part of me dies as I enter September

(Hook)
But I never hated you
No I never hated you
How could I hate you?

Verse 2
16 years old with that look up in my eyes
The one that you acquire when your only parent dies
When the only one you got is yourself in this world
Always ready for a war, walking with your fists curled
That was my demeanor, that was my state of mind
Let somebody act up, I wish they'd cross a line
I guess that mentality never really died
Still a prisoner inside ever since you left my side
Cause I remember as a child, it was always you and I
Life would get wild, we'd pray for blessings to arrive
Eviction notice posted, move our things back to storage
Though we never had much, love was never a shortage
But it sure became clear, life had made other plans
Our time was running out and you were slipping through my hands
Could only wonder now how life would've gone
Had you only made it through, this wouldn't need to be a song

(Hook)
But I never hated you
No I never hated you
How could I hate you?

Verse 3
I gotta give you credit for all the things you did
Doing everything you could to raise two good kids
All the mornings on Christmas, Santa paid a visit
Eyes lit up like the tree, the scene was so vivid
Birthdays were holidays and you never skipped one
Always pulling out the camera to capture all the fun
Church on Easter Sunday then home to open baskets
Some dollar store toys along with the chocolate rabbits
That life was magic till anxiety and panic
It's like I hit 13, life started getting tragic
My brother hit the streets but that was just the product
Of the environment, he was only chasing profit
I saw how it stressed you and I wanted to protect you
But not too long after, I rebelled against you
So much I failed to see, like the vibrance in you
All the pain in your eyes from the silence in you
I just didn't know better and I regret it to this day
So here I am letting go but I just wanted to say that

(Hook)