​​​​selfish (i wished you hated me)

[Verse 1]
Drown me in despair
I'm broken, way beyond repair
From sulking, over the times that we'd never get back
Drunk every night, with cigarette pack
But it's only fair that I'm broken, way beyond repair
I know that it's all my fault I'm guilty as charged
I'd end it all but that's not what you'd want
So it's hard to bear, cause I know you still care

[Chorus]
But I wished you hated me
As much as you tried to
But you'd never hated me
As much as I do
And my only fear for when I'm no longer here
Is that you'll find someone else who deserved all your tears
I know that sounds selfish, but I just can't help it

[Verse2]
I've been well prepared
To go now, I'll be somewhere
You know how I tend to leave all the ones that I love
Just to pretend like I won't give a fuck
To see what we've build become a ghost town
Swallowed by guilt; like my pills, I've broken down
Every night I go through withdrawals
But it's only right for all of my wrongs
I'd be easier to bear, if you never cared

[Chorus]
But I wished you hated me
As much as you tried to
But you'd never hated me
As much as I do
And my only fear for when I'm no longer here
Is that you'll find someone else who deserved all your tears
I know that sounds selfish, but I just can't help it