Selfish

The end is far away
Not getting too much sleep these days
These things I can't explain
Just wishing for an early grave
But they don't understand me

I wanna be selfish

Only reason I'm still alive
Can't stand to see my mother cry
I'll suffer through
Only reason I won't die
Can't stand the tears in her eyes
I'll be home soon

The saddest thing is
It's the only thing that I want
I wonder sometimes why
I don't just give up and take my life
And they have no idea
That I'm so close to my dying day
I hate this feeling
There's no healing
There's no coming back from this hell

(I wish that I could make you see)
(I wish that I could face today)

I want to be free from this