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These capsules promised healing
So tell me why I’m wasting away
Fill me with sedatives so maybe I can feel sane

Fix one thing, break another
I can’t keep a steady hand
I made myself an experiment
Drowning in the side effects

I can’t stomach it anymore
Prescriptions call me from the dresser drawer
Their consequences I cannot ignore
They never faded away with…
Time stands still from the bathroom floor
I’m bleeding out, the doctor’s keeping score
Begging for less but my body craves more
No, I can’t stomach it anymore

Cognitive dissonance flooding my head, demons consuming me
Medicine could never mend the existential regret
I’ve always known that I’d die all alone in the end
When do the drugs kick in?
Trapped in a daze, trading one curse for another

Why was I built so vulnerable?
My body’s failing, sanity’s escaping me
Don’t wanna feel when I’m alone
Guess I’ll never learn my lesson

I’ll never learn my lesson

Gone places I don’t need to be
Just to escape reality
Withdraw my mind so I fall asleep

How am I supposed to carry on with hope
When optimism is an artifact?
So I wait patiently, like a stone
It seems I’ll never find my way out
Now this passive death wish has become my own
I’m always hoping for a heart attack
I promised I would make it home, but I know
I can’t go back