Secrets of Life

Yo, you wouldn't believe
what happened to me the other day.

Okay? Here we go!

Long story short, I was on an afternoon run
Got approached by men with funny looking guns.
They threw me in the back of an armored vehicle
And they told me that I was "The Chosen One".

Brought me to a lab, performed some tests,
Said I was different from all the rest.
They sent me on a brand new mission
To obtain a clearer vision.

And that's when they shot me into outerspace.
Look at my face, can't believe what's in front of me.
There's a green man showing me the secrets of life
Here's what he's telling me.

[INTERCEPTING TRANSMISSION]

Waffles and ice-cream will help you keep going,
Pancakes and bacon will help you stay strong.

Buy yourself a Chinese vase,
Pawn shop is a sacred place,
Flying dogs took all my space,
Never leave a single trace,
Cereals are the oldest gods,
They know the secrets you want.

Every pooping comes with peeing,
But not every peeing comes with pooping.

Shot me into outerspace.
Look at my face, can't believe what's in front of me.
There's a green man showing me the secrets of life
Here's what he's telling me.

I was lost,
Floating around in space for so long,
Until I found a green man With a familiar face
Who played a familiar song.

I'm gay.

Somebody once told me,
The world is gonna roll me.
I ain't the sharpest
Tool in the shed.

Shot me into outerspace.
Look at my face, can't believe what's in front of me.
There's a green man showing me the secrets of life
Here's what he's telling me.

Deep in space,
They lie in wait,
Beings of your nightmares.
They harvest life across the Galaxy.
The Reapers are coming soon.

"My name is not important, only what I have to say.
Your plane of existence is in digital decay.
Ally with cybernetics to preserve your puny race."
He left me there to contemplate what led me to this place.

Shot me into outerspace.
Look at my face, can't believe what's in front of me.
There's a green man showing me the secrets of life
Here's what he's telling me.

Water is a portal to a universe
Where you can fly, but you can't breathe.

Reach out to touch the ever-expanding universe;
You're all stardust, trapped under a temporary curse.

Twenty Seven. Hell and Heaven.
Into the Darkness, beyond the deep blue.
Eternity; something that's forever.
Forty two.

42

42

Shot me into outerspace.
Look at my face, can't believe what's in front of me.
There's a green man showing me the secrets of life
Here's what he's telling me.

People are scared of me, so listen to me mate,
Don't wash your face with a spooky green paint...

When I tell you this, I want you to take this to your grave.
Don't turn what I'm telling you into some sort of masquerade.
Life is short, so live it well,
Don't become concerned with heaven or hell
Jail is jail.
You're not breathing, so please exhale.
Always excel
In your work, it's okay to go berserk.
Maybe you can be like Captain Kirk.

Hold your loved ones close!
And remember what kind of life you chose!

You gotta choose a path, no matter if it's right or wrong.
Pay close attention to this awesome fucking song.
Doesn't matter if you get there on a cow or a sheep.
The journey is what matters, not the destiny.

The Green man looked at me and said,
"You'll never make it out here.
The truth is far too big a burden -
When all you need to do is live.
Wear your life out,
Every day counts."

Then I fell through the sky,
And I race towards the ground
Made of mattress and springs
To break my fall...
And my eyes shot open.