Satan Gave Me A Taco

[Verse]
Satan gave me a taco and it made me really sick
The chicken was all raw and the grease was mighty thick
The rice was all rancid and the beans were so hard
I was getting kinda dizzy eating all the lard
There was aphids on the lettuce and I ate every one
And after I was done, the salsa melted off my tongue
Pieces of tortilla got stuck in my throat
And the stains on my clothes burned a hole through my coat
My stomach was a-trembling and I broke out in a rash
I was so dry and thirsty, and I didn't have no cash
So I went and found a hose, tore off all my clothes
Turned on the water and it shot right up my nose
Some old lady came along and she thought I was a freak
So she beat me with a handbag 'til I could hardly speak
I was lying there naked, my body badly bruised
In a pool of my own blood, unconscious and confused
Well, the cops came and got me and threw me in their van
And I woke up on the ceiling and I couldn't find my hand
They took me to the judge, his eyes a-glowing red
The courtroom was filled with witches and the dead
Well, the sheriff was a hellhound with fangs and claws
The prisoners were tied up and chained to the walls
The air was getting thick, the smoke was getting thicker
The judge read the verdict, said, "Cut off his head"
Well, they placed me on the altar and they raised up the axe
My head was about to explode when I noticed the Marshall stacks
I noticed all the smoke machines, cameras, and the lights
Some guy with a microphone running around, dancing in tights
And I noticed the crew and the band playing down below
And I realized I was in a rock video
So I went and joined the band and I went out on tour
And I smoked a lot of heroin, then passed out in manure
I made out with the groupies, started fires backstage
Made a lot of money and I gave it all away
Well, the band got killed, so I started a solo career
And I won all the awards and I drank all the beer
I opened up a taco stand just to smell the smell
Cooking with the Devil, frying down in hell