Santa’s Homophobic

[Intro: Left at London and SonicFox]
Oh hey, look, it's Santa's sleigh!
Oh wow!
And he's coming towards our house! I wonder what he's gonna—
Huh?
Wait a sec... He just flew right past us... Oh god, not this again. I'm gonna have a panic attack!
What's wrong?
What's wrong?! Santa's not gonna give me gifts again this year!
Why?
I guess he just doesn't like us gays

[Verse 1: Left at London]
Dear Santa, when I was younger
You'd send me gifts every year
But Santa, since last December
I wanna make some things clear
I asked for

[Pre-Chorus: Left at London]
A new pair of Docs
And a sword, and some poppers
But nothing is under the tree

[Chorus: Left at London]
So where the hell are my presents?
Santa, help me out
I can't do without
Is this some sick kind of vengeance
You have out for me
Just because I am LGBT?

[Verse 2: Left at London]
Dear Santa, what is the deal?
Have you since found out I'm gay?
My proof may be circumstantial
But it's what I gotta say
I asked for

[Pre-Chorus: Left at London]
A Nintendo Switch
Even though I'm a bottom
But no presents are to be found

[Chorus: Left at London]
So where the hell are my presents?
Santa, help me out
I can't do without
Is this some sick kind of vengeance
You have out for me
Just because I am LGBT?

[Bridge: Crowd vocals and Left at London]
Santa's ho-ho-homophobic (Ah!)
Santa's ho-ho-homophobic (You know it, you know it)
Santa's ho-ho-homophobic ( And he's probably transphobic too!)
Santa Claus hates the gays

[Outro: SungWon Cho (Santa) and Left at London]
Ho ho ho!
Wait, Santa?
Yes! It is I! The one and onl—
Oh, shut the hell up you homophobe!
Ho-ho-hold on just a sec! I'm not homophobic. Homophobes go on the naughty list!
Then why didn't I get any gifts again this year?
Well, did you register your change of address?
Wait, you're supposed to do that?
Well, congratulations, you twit. Everybody thinks I'm homophobic now... You have to understand, this is some serious naughty-list type behavior
Oh god... what have I done? I've cancelled Santa...
Now if you'll excuse me, I guess I have to take your gifts back to the North Pole
Wait a sec! Don't take back my gifts— hold on, is that a Frank Ocean vinyl?
Yup! blond, first pressing
Oh god...
But it's going back up on Discogs
Oh...
Happy holidays, Left at London! Ho ho ho!
Wait wait wait, no!