Santa’s a Fat Bitch

[Intro]
Sleigh bells jingling, ring-ting-tingling, too
Horses, horses, horses, horses
Sleigh bells jingling, ring-ting-tingling
*Gunshot*

[Verse 1: Violent J]
Santa Claus, suck my balls
Drunk as hell ringing bells at the malls
Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, and Cupid
I'm a get stupid, ha ha ha, eh
I sat around all night under the chimney
Holdin' my sack like "Gimme gimme"
I know that he's comin', he's comin' he must
Lookin' up nuthin but rust, dust
Turn on my TV the very next day
I see you're gettin payed, leadin' the parade
I'm that sniper on the building
Listen to my nine go click, Santa's a fat bitch

[Chorus]
Santa Claus is a fat bitch
(Santa Claus the fat bastard)
Another year and I ain't get shit
(Another year I ain't get shit)
If I hear him land on my roof
(Ooh my undertaker)
I'm a bust your ass in the too-hoo-hoo-hoo-hooth

[Verse 2: Shaggy 2 Dope]
Yeah I got somthin' to say about St. Nick
Fuck that ho, he never brought Shaggs shit
No toys, candy canes, just a lump of coal
So I eat it, 'cause there ain't nuttin in the cupboards
So I'll be quick, quick and brief
Alls I need for Christmas is my two front teeth
I got mine kicked, kicked out my mouth
I need a few new ones, could you help me out?
Should've known I'd get the short end of the stick
No kind of gift, I didn't get shit
Some say I was bad, but that wasn't it
It's all because Santa was a fat bitch

[Chorus]
Santa Claus is a fat bitch
(Santa, fuck you and [?])
Another year and I ain't got shit
(Another year I ain't get shit)
If I hear him land on my roof
(Bi-i-itch, you're gonna die)
I'm a bust your ass in the too-hoo-hoo-hoo-hooth

[Interlude]
"Oh-ho-ho don't go that way Rudolph! That's the ghetto!
Ho-ho, those boys and girls, they don't deserve anything."

[Verse 3: Violent J]
Santa Claus, Santa Claus where you been?
I see you got cookies and milk on your chin
I guess you had time to collect your ends
You always been down for your rich friends
But Rudolph, he don't bring his sleigh my way
Nothing but coal and dirt for little J
I guess you couldn't fit down my chimney shaft
You need to lose some of that fat ass, uh
All the little rich boys, they gettin' paid
Counting the toys and ducats they made
Me? I got a little half little chunk of dog shit
I'm a kill that fat bitch

[Chorus]
Santa Claus is a fat bitch
(He ate too much McDonald's)
Another year and I ain't get shit
(Mrs. Claus [?])
If I hear him land on my roof
(Fat fat bitch in the big red coat)
I'm a bust your ass in the too-hoo-hoo-hoo-hooth

[Verse 4: Shaggy 2 Dope]
T'was the night before Christmas, and everything's wack
Not a creature stirring but a fucking rat
I ain't hearin' jingle bells, I ain't hearin' nothin'
Ain't smelling no turkey, sure as hell ain't no stuffing
All night I prayed, wished and prayed
That fat motherfucker would swing my way
And drop off soldiers and rubber balls
But I woke up and found some crusty old drawers
Yep, yep I knew it! The shaft again
And again, and again, and again
Every year I wake up to the same old shit
House empty, no sign of the fat bitch!

[Chorus]
Santa Claus is a fat bitch
(Santa Claus is a fat bitch)
Another year and I ain't get shit
(Another year I ain't get shit)
If I hear him land on my roof
(If I hear him land on my roof)
I'm a bust your ass in the too-hoo-hoo-hoo-hooth
Santa Claus is a fat bitch
(Santa Claus is a fat bitch)
Another year and I ain't get shit
(I ain't ge-et shi-it)
If I hear him land on my roof
(Ro-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoof)
I'm a bust your ass in the too-hoo-hoo-hoo-hooth

[Sample: Buck Owens]
He's got a fuzzy white beard and a great big smile
A bright red hat you can see for a mile
A bag full of goodies and a great big grin
Here comes Santa Claus again