Salad Dressing

[Intro]
This is a certified hood classic
Yo pierre wanna cum in me?

[Verse 1: thoams]
I go to my grandma's house to lick her toes
When I was nine I cummed inside a garden gnome
I shove my fingers inside of my homie's butthole
He once had a sexual relationship with a tadpole
I get turned on when I beat up cripples
When I want a burger, I shop at Lidl
Once I robbed a store with a hockey stick
Owner told me get out, I called him a dick
Set an ice cream van on firе at a children's park
The parents shoutеd at me some rude remarks
Pick your mum up and take her on a cruise
Slap this bitch around the face and now she got a bruise
Last night I matched your sister on Tinder
Picked her up and creamed in her
I went to London to stab a clown
If you try and swim you will drown

[Verse 2: monky]
This boy in maths called me a loser
So i put a pornography virus on his computer
I knocked an eight year old out with a scooter
Now I got a criminal record like home intruders
I went on omegle, an old man showed me his penis
I skipped it because I'd already seen it
My dad got pissed, gave me his car to clean it
Replaced the sponge with C4 now he can't see it
This guy pissed me off in my science classes
So I bathed his dog in Hydrochloric acid
Homie said he got the wood so I told him pass it
But when I felt it in my hand it was flaccid
Like TF2 I hit him with the frying pan
Do not do that iron man
This bitch said he don't like orangutans
So I ran him over in a caravan

[Verse 3: thoams]
I fly my plane over to Afghanistan
So I can save orphans from the Taliban
Gotta get out quick cos those terrorists hatin'
Tell those bitches go back to decapi-tating

[Verse 4: monky]
This man said teeoomas was outdated
So I got that bitch defenestrated
I laugh at your face it's entertaining
Call you Joe Biden, two yil remaining