Rubbing Rough

at times she can hear herself think
almost to loud to carry
those jumbles of unsettled thoughts
rubbing rough inside her soul

there’s too much of what happened
was to much for a girl alone to carry
left over traumas branded into woman
face to face with the alone in her head

in dreams splattered with judgements
the roaring of guilts doubts and fears
turn into familiar replaying scenes
demanding their daily tributes

hazing the chaos in her self confusion
victims blaming the victims
doing what victims are taught to do
existing in the false paradise of shame

today wears yesterdays scars in her eyes
looking to find that place of sweet rest
running in a lifetime she doesn’t understand
the why’s or any reasons of what happened

seeing through the eyes of predator imprints
out of sync with the reality of herself
forgetting the reality of her inherent goodness
making it difficult to recognize her innocent
is the innocence that protects her goodness