Role Model

You were the only person I had ever looked up to growing up it seemed like everyone had someone who they wanted to grow up to be like in real life but for me it always seemed like it was me fighting the world all by myself every time I fell getting back up on my own even though I had help from God, keeping me sane when I was reeling in pain but as far as a role model it was never really the same until I found you, and I was wowed truly and vowed to emulate everything about you cuz no one was stronger than you, or more gentle extremely intelligent, yet humble to the core and generally capable of anything you'd attempt godly, changing lives for the better, I mean you were it and inside I knew that someday we would meet so I then began working cuz on that day I'd want you to be proud of me (chorus) I don't know where I'm going, all I know is that when I get there I want to be just like you I don't know where I'm headed, but I know that I will like it there as long as I look just like you so for the longest time I did that I tried to act exactly how I'd imagine you would if you were me and as time went past it was happenin beautifully, I realized, cuz as I grew stronger than anyone else around I used my strength to vouch for the helpless now I'm getting smarter while learning to be selfless I would still have a long way to go but it felt somehow like I was on the way but I wasn't prepared for the Lord to bear me with more weight than I'd ever carried before and I knew what I should do, what you would do: hold it and stay strong but as days grew on to years I started to break so hard to continue on, and slowly I grew lonely bitter and cold til I won't look into the mirror in fear of the fact that the face I see is one that I know would make you ashamed of me, and that (chorus) he was the only person you had ever looked up to growing up it seemed like everyone had someone who they wanted to grow up to be like in real life but for you it always seemed like a lonely fight versus the world until you imagined what future you would be like and then you would have an ideal to strive toward somebody to try to be like more in moving your life forward but if I'm going to be honest, I'm gonna need to apologize because I am not who you think I am, all this time you spend looking up to me it freakin kills me inside knowing I'm quite far from being what we'd have liked but I might be wrong... cuz we might be on the same path still approaching the light beyond the current darkness so if there's any way I can still get to where he is then please don't lose faith in me just yet