Rewriting jingles for major companies

[Song I: Apple]
Sustainable phones for sustainable homes
Made by kids overseas

[Song II: Microsoft]
Buy our weird little tablets, please
We're literally begging you
[Instrumental flourish]

[Song III: Twitter]
Let's cancel people after they die because it's fun

[Song IV: McDonald's]
Don't worry, we won't tell anyone you came
[Instrumental flourish]
You're disgusting

[Song V: CVS]
Our receipts are long
Because they contain unanswered prayers from hell
[Screaming]

[Song VI: Walmart]
We are the hungry Waltons
We're silent and we're still
Let Bezos take the limelight
We're worth a quarter trill'
Yes, look at the man in the sky
And ask around 'bout why it's shaped like Oscar Meyer frankenfurter
While we crush your brick and mortar
Save money, live better, Walmart!

[Song VII: Amazon]
Delivery for you, delivery for me
Is that lime Gatorade or underpaid pee?

[Song VIII: Taco Bell]
Donde está el baño?

[Song IX: Facebook]
Here is an ad for that thing you talked about yesterday

[Song X: Domino's]
Domino's!
For when you're at the end of your rope

[Song XI: Netflix]
It's important to me that you watch this show
It'd mean a lot to me if you did that, bro
Don't mind the gun, let's laugh and play
Watch an underrated show, they call it Squid Game

[Song XII: Target]
It's time we finally let you know
We put down the Target dog! (Ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff)

[Song XIII: Instagram]
Instagram...
Get a divorce

[Song XIV: Google/Bing]
We were there for you since '98
Satisfying your curiosities you've got on your plate
Whatever you want, here's something to do
It's easy and it's fun, and it's intuitive too
Just Google it, just Google it, yeah (No, Bing it, Bing it)
Google it, just Google it, yeah (Bing it, Bing it)
Just Google it, just Google it, yeah ([crying])