Revenge

[SEDGEWICK]
Look at me: a ten times Nobel Prize loser!

In 1938 I earned my PHD
With a masterful hypothesis
In colloid chemistry
I was getting set to publish
When much to my surprise
Richard T. Zsigmondy won the Nobel Prize
And for what? For work on the heterogeneous nature of colloid solutions! My field! My colloids!

In 1949 I thought I had it made:
My work in light diffusion
Put my colleagues in the shade
But then my hopes were shattered
By some Hindu in Ceylon
They gave the prize in physics
To Sir Chandra V. Raman
For work in light diffusion -- the Raman effect! Damn it, it should have been the Sedgwick effect!

Revenge, revenge
I'll have it on them all
No single slight will I forget
I'll show no mercy you can bet
They'll all get theirs the day I get
Revenge

That dopey Wolfgang Pauli
For his work in fission
I used to help that punk
With long division
And Fermi for his brilliant
Neutron system
That bum, he wouldn't know a neutron
If it kissed him

Ah, but the thing that really drove me to a fury:
They gave the prize to Harold Urey
The shocking thing about the matter is
My heavy hydrogen was heavier than his

Revenge, revenge
Oh, it will taste so sweet
A misanthrope, yes, I might be
An outcast of society
Think what you like, but just give me
Revenge, revenge!

It really goes way back
My parents hated me --
You see, my birth surprised them
Mom was sixty-three

Nanny smelled of Clorox
And boarding school was hell
I'll show you Dad, and Mom and Nanny
And Alfred B. Nobel

Revenge, revenge
That's all I live for now
I'll make them wince and cringe and cry
I spit in their collective eye
I'll have one thing before I die --

And I'll have it by destroying the world's symbol of Goodness - Superman!

Revenge!