Reminiscing

(Verse 1)
Sometimes I miss you
I know that I shouldn't
But I have an issue
It's called Reminiscing
Because now we be distancing
Distance is different
When they happen to be the reason you were living
And I know in the end
This was good, for the best
Just wish we didn't have so many regrets
Wish we didn't hurt each other like we did
Wish we had a healthy relationship

(Verse 2)
I'm not the one to go and start dreaming
But I closed my eyes and I started believing
That maybe there was something between us
But ignorance was the only good reason
That I wanted to believe in us
I couldn't kill my demons so instead I killed love
But you couldn't see us so you just gave up
Then it broke all our trust and then it broke us up

(Verse 3)
And the second time that I gave into love
She didn't call me unless she was drunk
I guess when she sober I'm just not the one
And I guess in the end I'm not worthy of love
But I have to question is love even worth it
If it only hurts us then what is the purpose
'Cause it never lasts but just becomes a burden
And all that I've learned is that it leaves you hurting
'Cause honestly love is kinda like god
It's easy to see when nothing is wrong
And you seem to believe when your faith is strong
And a lot harder when you're torn apart
And you're asking why you've got all these scars
But no one can tell you what the answers are
'Cause faith is hard when it leaves you scarred
And it tears your heart apart

(Verse 4)
Ah I don't know
Love is such a weird thing
Because you know sometimes I miss her
And other times I know this whole thing is superficial
'Cause love only occurs when it's like beneficial for us
We don't love someone because we love them
In fact we don't even love them
We just love whatever they can provide for us
Because we're selfish
So love is real, but only for our own desires
And I wish I could feel real love again
But even though it's only admirable
The vulnerability required to form temporary happiness is just horrifying
So I think I'll keep my distance

(Verse 5)
To be honest love isn't even that bad
The problem is probably all us humans
Love creates pain
But it's our own doing
We chose to abuse it
And make it so useless
And I just feel like I'm meant to be alone
I just feel like I do not have a home
I just feel like I shouldn't pick up the phone
I just feel like my heart's meant to be cold
And I just feel like I'm losing my soul
I just feel like it's numbing me so
I do not have to feel pain on my own
I just feel like I'm so unclosed
Because pain likes to come
But forgets to go
'Cause life is scary and I don't really know
If I should open my eyes
Keep trying to fight
Or if I should just leave them closed