Red cap

Everything i've said until now is a lie
Know  you like it but i'm sickly inside
They  like to see you suffer, don't know why
Cause it's getting harder for me not to cry

Never thought i'd have a panic attack
Now  i'm in the shower‚ i'm clenching my back
Dig  my nails into it‚ blood dripping out and my friends can't find my ass

How do you tell someone you love that you wanna choke on pills?
How  do you force yourself to go on when you've got no self will?
Wanna chain smoke a whole pack‚ they all tell me smoking kills
If it kills, then it probably will, cause my body is weak and i'm growing ill

(i'm losing it)
(i'm  losing it)

(i'm losing it)
(i'm losing it)

Imagine having someone there to wash your pain away
But i can't grasp that thought‚ that's not the life for me
I don't know how to love another person easily
I'm alone for now and i think that's the only way

I said a lot of things that i probably shouldn't say
I've let a lot of people down so what's the price to pay?
I can't reference what i'm thinking, not my game to play
Running faster as the light that's in me starts to fade

Why live real life, i'll just stay here watching anime
Taking 3 pills even though they're only one a day
Put me in a coma so i can't communicate
And pull me down to hell cause heaven's just too far away

The wounds upon my body bleed til they disintegrate
But scars are left‚ i can't forget, that this is not okay
And how it hurts the ones who love me and my family
If they saw me in this state, i don't know what they'd say