Realization

It's hard to say, what I do, every day
Hard to be what I want when all I do is
Lay down, head down, never up, always down
Wish I was more out going but I keep to myself
Hoping one day
Someone will come and help
I need to be more active, need to be less selfish
Need to talk to others more actively
Passively, get the fuck away, angrily
Now I see, problems an introvert like me deals with
Be with, think dark thoughts in the corner of my own room
Looming and entertaining all those thoughts of that noose
I promised my fam id be here so I'll never lose
It would be nice if people helped me instead of these booze
I drink alone for regret
Don't drink with friends as of yet
Or at least, I mean, I don't really want to
This is the realization of a sad man
What the hell am I even doing with my own life span
Id, like to say everything turned out as it panned out
Have some life savings in my bank, no reason to be down
Or at least that's what they tell me
But I realised I don't really give a fuck about what they tell me

I'm gonna rap, gonna make it
Gonna fap, to girls naked
This is the life of a free man
What I wanna be man
Now I'm hoping everything is fine man
This beat is my nation, my lyrics my land
Gonna build castles out here in the sand
This is the time I was going through shit
Didn't wanna live shit
Now I'm fine in one bit
So go ahead and sit
At my mountains of joy, oh boy, never toy
With the rapper who has his life panned out
This is the radical switch up, the realisation
Of a sad man, the sad man
Now I'm good man, I'm good man!
Never better man, never better man