Realization

[Thistle]
I guess I donʼt know what I was expecting. We barely know each other to begin with... and two days... What can you do?

Maybe I wanted more than he could give me
Maybe we donʼt have all that much to say
Maybe Iʼm nervous. Maybe he hates me
Maybe Iʼm making it all too big a deal

Iʼve been so open. Doesnʼt he owe me?
No. Maybe itʼs time to look within

Every dollar spent on this is feeling wasted
All of the months of planning, building, orchestrating
You were supposed to be my rock, my saving presence
You were supposed to be my perfect iteration
You were supposed to solve this crushing desperation
You were supposed to be, you were supposed to be
You were supposed to be the thing to fix it all!

Maybe Iʼm broken on the inside
Too many hours spent online
All of the structures I put into place
Have only served to compromise my health
Maybe Iʼm working with the wrong guy
Maybe I have to grow myself
Under construction
Under the impression
That one weekend was the antidote
The fix for all the things I broke
The ever-growing manifold of
Issues I cannot withhold
Youʼll hardly recognize the mold here, once Iʼm done
Maybe go all the way
Maybe Iʼll... Maybe...

Iʼm sorry