Real Rockers Wear G-Strings

No, no, no, you're doing it all wrong!
You're playing so fast and playing so many notes
It's about the notes you don't play, mmm!

Miles Davis is nu metal!

I believe Buddy Rich would have been a better drummer if he played less notes, mmm!

The only real band in the world is Toto
Have you not heard "Africa"?
It's the best song, because it's literally the only song I know

Mmm, you have distortion on your guitar?
What are you, a neanderthal?
Mmm!

As a drum instructor, I mainly listen to the music for the vocals

I prefer Phil Collins solo
'Cause it's the only thing that calms me down after I murder someone

The Oscars failed us by not saving jazz, mmm!

Ryan Gosling is my waifu

I just wanna bang on the drums
All day and all night
Just like my hero, Willie Nelson
Who is nu metal
Yes

I preferred Johnny Cash when he was true country
Not this goddamn hippie dippie rock 'n' roll bullshit!

Anything with a breakdown ain't real metal, damn it!
Looking at you, Black Sabbath!

The lo-fi production really makes the song's message
Of "boy wants to fuck girl" sound so much more mature
So sophisticated

I feel trap production reached its peak with Ariana Grande, mmm!

Jazz fusion? More like jazz losin', am I right?

Bebop is the actual bop, it slaps!

[Scatting]
Zip-de-dop-ba-dop-ba-dop-ba-dop-ba
Ba-dop-ba
Bop-bop-be-be

Rawrgh!
Ahem, excuse me

Chicago only gets better with age

The less notes you play, the better you are
Unless you're a rock musician, yuck!

Millennials ruined real music
Like Starland Vocal Band

Lil Nas X ruined country!
We need to bring back real country, like Georgia Florida Line!

Everything I don't like is nu metal, therefore bad!

Everything I like is nu metal, therefore good!

Genres are so important, so I can avoid music like:
Scenecore, and
Posercore, and
Millennialcore

I used to listen to Mayhem
But then I saw they had a shirt at Hot Topic
Now I can't listen to them anymore

It's not that I'm racist!
It's that I prefer blue-eyed soul over the regular soul

It's not real metal if girls and gays like it!

A relatable macho image is more important than the music!

The fuck are you guys on about!?