Rap 101

[Intro]
Yo
Aw shit, welcome class, welcome
What's up?
Yo

[Verse 1]
Hey, dude, get off my cloud
Bitch say my name, I came to throw down
Better get that shit right, get it right now
If you lame then you can't replicate my sound
It's a new era, it's a brand new day
And they don't wanna listen to a thing you say
I came to cause terror and tear up the place
Crack the cigar, put some gas in the tank
Rattling your bones when you hear my tone switch
I'm grabbing on your throat, hold it in my closed fist
Your broke ass crying, always on some ho shit
I see you eyeing up my throne, but I'm in my zone bitch
If fools want to sweat it, then cool, rev your engines
I'm lapping them, immediately teaching them a lesson
I'm no professor, but yes I'm professing
I bring them to school and then issue detentions

I put a fence in, one you can't get across
Big Jarv coming from the Land of the Lost
Yeah I'm a boss, disagree while you tripping
I get it hot, burn fifth degree, skin dripping
I'm a dragon, you late stage dragging ass
I set flame to the stage, create bubbling ash
Your date, called her a cab, and came back to the pad
She sang a note, shattering panes of stained glass
I'll break her in half, when I'm doing this thing
Skinny ass dude with a movement that's clean
Who can that be knock, knocking on the door?
It's me, and with emcees I be mopping the floor

Breaking news! It's the new Godzilla
I'm lightning-breathing titan and a Heineken swella
Making a pimp cane from a White House pillar
In a fur coat out of a million chinchillas
Spilling in and out of dive bars in New York
An young OG finally achieving his true form
Been an old head since the age of ten
Get the fuck off my lawn, I ain't trying to make friends
I don't like trends
I don't like much
Whack rappers use high fashion as a crutch
I survive in trenches, alive in the mud
My grind's independent and yet I'm on the crux
Bust in with the force of World War III
Each verse like an Atom Bomb bursting on the beat
I roam Earth alone until the end of my days
And the planet can finally move on to the next phase

Explain why the next best must get slain
While I get brain from just a text exchange
Remember your ex, press play
See her thick flesh stretched on my bed spread, splayed
Checkmate
Who would have guessed sex paid?
She exclaimed yes and next begging my name
I reckon it makes sense expressing regular thanks
So I left the skank limping like catching a leg sprain

I got my machete, cutting through the red tape
Play the cassette and mate get your tape deck replaced
The apex of style and grace is where I stay
Fuck biting your whack rhyme, I'm hijacking the plane
Flying through the Bermuda Triangle, trying to enter an-
Alternate dimension, altering my position
It isn't that efficient wishing to witness a different image
Shine a light through the prism of the Trilateral Commission

That's Illuminati confirmed; truly not a concern
Solar Flare, Polar Caps, Tsunami, the sun burns
Your liberal and conservative affiliations ain't going to make a difference helping you keep your food and water conserved
Drink it up; quit thinking, you think enough
Go to your room, start gooning, and stink it up
Fart in your pillow and smell it
I got the heart of a part-time felon
(Are you gellin'?)

No, I'm jelqing
So tell your mom to make a pitstop
I'm pissed off, feeling like Clark W. Griswold (Holy Shit)
Fuck a boss, I got W Rizz y'all
Take a video of your bidussy for your TikTok
You dumb fucks, I'm your block swinging nunchucks
Every time I roll the blunt, I was like, "This blunt sucks,"
I couldn't roll them well, but I still tried, smiling in the face of adversity made me feel pride
Here I am again; I got these amateurs panicking
Keep hugging my nuts and I'mma fill you up a ramekin
I played Amanda Lynn's pussy like a mandolin
I just made that shit up, I'm feeling like the man again

It's tough managing my thought crime in tandem with the pressure to venture into the dark side like Anakin
Ain't got your hands up? You must be a mannequin
I might just go to China and try rhyming in Mandarin
Or Cantonese
I get 'em jumping like a trampoline
Switch up and still crush like Brady with a Tampa team
Lay lady lay in the front trunk of the Lamborghin'
The man is dirty, but his hands are clean
As wild as it seems I'm chilling 'til I drive 95 into the side of a building
When I die I'll be haunting all the nice women
I hit it and go ghost; I'm Poltergeist pimping
Dolomite spitting to the vinyl place spinning on the Tech 12
Flip the drum break and set sail
I spread sheets like Excel
Tell Allison Bechdel my cassette passed the test; sex sells
Take cover and duck from the thunderous bust of the wonderous blunderbus sonny run amuck
The troublesome underweight scrawny motherfuck feeling like Big Pun if he just had a tummy-tuck
Class lemme sum it up, this is Rap 101