Random Thoughts (Part 1)

[Verse]
Dear cousin, cousin Ty, I miss you so much
Life was taken away from you, you were just way too young
Tonight I’m smoking OG, I hope your spirit fills my lungs
Exhale the pain as I reminisce about us being dumb
My mom said you wanted to see me when you were making your trips
Saw the dude that took your life on the TV and it’s making me sick
I just wish it never happened, why this evil exist?
I want to walk to the steepest edge of the Earth and jump off a cliff
The clock ticking and tock, times are bliss when you’re with the people that matter
Shot you point blank in the head with a fucking bitch-ass coward
Your niece was born in the same hospital that you went to heaven in
I guess it’s true what 50 Cent rapped about when he wrote “Many Men”
It don't gotta be a stranger who wish death upon you, it could be your closest friends
I got trust issues, not too many real ones that could make it to the end
Keep the candles lit while the tears fall
Crying out, but they don’t hear y’all
I don’t got the solution, I just pray to God that we can really do shit
Hey dad, I'm really glad you got to come over a couple weeks ago
My son got to finally meet his grandfather, what a release like a free throw
Cause I was stressin' at night, I couldn't even sleep though
Demons scared of my soul like Kinko’s
But what I been through makes me son's hero
We all make mistakes as people
I can feel it in the air like Beanie Sigel
Positive vibes around me wherever we go
I’m tryna change for the better
Keep it going, never let a
Doubter or a hater put you down
Tell them niggas better [?]
Put your money where your mouth is if you doubt this
Want success, but you stay chilling on couches, slouches
Looked at my son’s eyes on 3/16
Told him, you’ll never know what it means
To have a father absent from your life, you’ll never be without me
I promise
I’m spitting like alpacas and llamas as if ‘Pac was among us
Through the midnight hour rapping through the stardust
I got us
I’ve been through one too many shitty jobs
I don’t even need your applause
I’m smoking on the good shit right now, these are just my random thoughts
I woke up to a black man being shot
I went to sleep and woke up again to another black man being shot
This is all by the cops -- let me stop
Damn