R. Jabez

Hey dad...just know
I wrote this cause I had some feelings to get out
And I don't actually hate you, I don't actually wanna be mean because of all this
I love you
Here's just some things I've been feeling lately

You never seemed to give a shit about my dreams
You always screamed at me when I tried to believe
You never understood what went on behind the scenes
Cuz you always seemed to have more fun without me

So now that I'm gone, what changеs have been made?
Is therе new behavior, new emotions displayed?
New life, new words, new chapter, new page
Without the son, a shady new world to portray

You knew what I wanted, but your so fucking obstinate
You expected something different, it was so fucking obvious
You wanted a good child, one that wouldn't stay on the naughty list
And one that wouldn't copy your sloppiness

Well guess what, it turns out that I'm just like you
The one thing that you didn't want has just become true
Maybe it's not all bad, cuz now I know what not to do
Jabez was passed down, because pain was all I got from youth

So now that I'm grown, I'm deciding my own life
One without the voice of my father inside
One without tears that I cry every night
One with more guilt for memories I left behind

Illusion blinds the soul, and makes it hard to forget
Temptation makes it difficult for the mind to resist
Detail descriptions about beliefs and wishes
With strict revisions about life choices and dishes

I play with cards, so I've dealt with a lot
I look around at all these kids driving cars
I notice things in the light that I didn't see in the dark
I've cleared my mind of all of the wasteful scars

So go ahead, remind me that I've fucked things up
I know I've made mistakes, I know I've made things tough
I know that you love me, I know that life was rough
I know that I love you back, but I know that's not enough

You always told me actions speak louder then words
That means that I have to prove to you what I'm worth
I wake up every morning and go to fucking work
I wish I could show you all the lessons I've learned

Every time we speak, I leave out all my troubles
Cuz I don't want you to see that I've been going through struggles
The mind plays tricks, full of flourishes and shuffles
Cascades, and pinky breaks, making it hard to rebuttal

Unfortunately, even the best people fall
We both agree that its difficult to stand tall
Some sons don't have the guts to say what's wrong
But out of the fathers in the world, your the greatest of them all
I'm Always Strong