Queenie Was a Blonde

QUEENIE
Queenie was a blonde and her age stood still
And she danced twice a day in vaudeville
Queenie was a blonde, and if looks could kill
She would kill twice a day in vaudeville
She had grey eyes
Lips like coals aglow
And her face was a tinted mask of snow
With those shoulders
What a back she had
Her legs were built to drive men mad
And she did
She would skid
MEN
She had grey eyes
Lips like coals aglow
And her face was a tinted mask of snow
QUEENIE
With those shoulders
What a back she had
Her legs were built to drive men:
MEN
Her legs were built:
Her legs were built to drive men -
QUEENIE
Mad
But how was she ever to love them?
There were far too many of them
MEN
She never got tired
Of the men she desired
She never inquired of the men
She desired
QUEENIE MEN
She never got tired
Of the men she desired
One is simple She never inquired of the men
She desired
Two is good She never got tired
Of the men she desired
Three is better She never inquired of the men
She desired
MEN
Four?
QUEENIE
Now you're knocking on wood
Well, I adore men
So bring me more men
MEN
She never inquired
Of the men she desired
Of their status or their wealth
They were all in perfect health
QUEENIE MEN
True, so true Queenie was a blonde
And her age stood still
And Queenie knew True, she knew
QUEENIE & MEN
That she liked her lovers violent
And he liked her vicious
But until she found the one man
Who could answer all her wishes
MEN
Queenie was sexually ambitious
Capricious
QUEENIE
So delicious
BURRS
Are you ready to laugh?
Are you ready to smile?
Are you ready to sing and dance for a while?
Before too long she'd meet a man named Burrs
A handsome devil with a life like hers
BURRS WOMEN
A clown
A clown
Of some renown
A clown of some renown
Well-known
MEN
Well-known
All over town
Well-known all over town
He could make 'em laugh
ALL
Ha!
BURRS
Bend their ribs in half
ALL
Ho! Ho!
BURRS
He was mast of his work
He could give 'em Hell
Just one sentimental smirk
And the house might yell:
ENSEMBLE
Uproarious!
Glorious!
Burrs!
Burrs!
Burrs!
BURRS
Oh, yes
They shouted out his name
Proclaiming he was grand
GIRLS
Burrsie, Burrsie
BURRS
And, yes, he played the girlie game
But behind the scenes:
He was mean and rough
He was mean and rough
He was made of vile and violent stuff
They liked him tough
Get in his way
And he would run you down
BURRS
He was a very scary clown!
He didn't want to be bad. He was bored
He was sore. He was dying for more
ENSEMBLE
Queenie
BURRS
Where was she?
ENSEMBLE
Queenie
BURRS
That special girl who could take him over the top?
One day he'd find her:
ENSEMBLE
Until she found the one man
BURRS
One day, you bet
ENSEMBLE
Who could answer all her wishes
BURRS
One day she'd just appear
BURRS and ENSEMBLE
One day
QUEENIE
Then one day they met
BURRS
And fireworks flew
QUEENIE
Her passion ignited
She was smitten
BURRS
His colors shone through
He'd met his match
QUEENIE, BURRS & ENSEMBLE
They knew what to do
QUEENIE & BURRS
I found you
ENSEMBLE
They said
QUEENIE & BURRS
Now Queenie and Burrs were well-fed
ENSEMBLE
For the one thing that they had in common
The one thing that they in common
Was the fact they were so good in bed!
So, now you know
A fascinating woman
A fascinating lover
A fascinating couple
As
They
Go!