Put You Down

You're so skinny and so fat
How can you walk around like that?
Let me help you up those stairs
Maybe you should just live down there...

Here, don't you want some bread?
How bout potato chips instead?
London broil or deli meats?
You look so pitiful and weak...

Why do I have to put you down?
And then put you in the ground?
And put a rock atop that mound?
Don't wanna put you down

You're clearly in no pain (No pain)
Still do your happy dance each day (Pavlov? Pavlov?)
When I get home from work
But very slowly you get worse...

When do I have to put you down?
And then put you in the ground?
And put a rock atop that mound?
Well, too soon would be perverse
But too late is maybe worse?
Don't wanna cover you in dirt
Don't wanna put you down

And what's up with your bad breath?
It smells like anuses and death
But you still want to lick my face
Even if it makes me faint

And I can't leave home anymore
What if you get stuck in the doggie door?
Ever since the ultrasound
I just pick you up and put you down

Pick you up...
Put you down...