Pushing Forward

You told me I was meant for something different
You never made it clear what that would mean
I know this isn’t quite what you expected
You got more than you had bargained on with me

Because
For my whole life I’ve been ashamed
Thought I was broken
Thought I couldn’t get it right
Thought everything would work out if I only played the game
But I got sick of playing

And I know that my decisions never fit into your plan
But I hope that you can listen, and try to understand
Cause I’ve finally been learning what it means to take that stand
So this is what that looks like
And this is who I am

I know I really shouldn’t have to mention
That all you wanted was for me to shine
The road to hell is paved with good intentions
Your goodness held me back from finding mine

For my whole life I’ve been afraid
But bravery
Isn’t fearlessness at all
It’s being terrified and pushing forward anyway
So I’m pushing forward

And I know that my decisions never fit into your plans
But I hope that you can listen, and try to understand
Because I’ve been on a mission ever since I found my voice
And this is who I am
And I have made my choice

I cease to be what you wanted me to be
I cease to be what you wanted me to be
I cease to be what you wanted me to be
So forget the past, and grab my hand

This is the place where I go to emote
To grieve, and to breathe, and to heal and to hope
Where their stigmas and their standards, they all go up in smoke
Where I became awake when I was rudely awoke

This is the place where I am finally free
The only place where I can say I’m finally me
It took me twenty-something years to even dream of a purpose
Through my blood and sweat and tears I’m fucking making it worth it

I cease to be what they wanted me to be
I cease to be what they wanted me to be
I cease to be what they wanted me to be
So forget the past and grab my hand

I cease to be what they wanted me to be
I cease to be what they wanted me to be
I cease to be what they wanted me to be
So forget the past
Grab my hand