Prologue: Calamari

[GORDON]
Sorry I'm late, Rhoda

[RHODA, spoken]
You're always late

[GORDON]
I was
Working on the Spring Song
Is he angry that he doesn't have the Spring Song yet?
I bet

[RHODA, spoken]
No, he's angry that he doesn't have the Yes Song

[GORDON]
I hate the Yes Song
I hate the Spring Song
I hate
Mr. Bungee and this job
God, it's bad
Working on Mr. Bungee's lily pad–

[WAITRESS, spoken]
Y'all work for Mr. Bungee? I love that TV show!

(sung)
The specials today
Though not many are especially good
First the fish of the day:
Calamari!
Which isn't a fish
But lives in the sea
As said in the dish
It happens to be the fish
Of the day
Okay
Plus there's ziti
With a sauce that's meaty
It's fun!

[GORDON & RHODA, spoken]
Fun?

[WAITRESS]
And there's a lot
And that's the specials!

(spoken)
Thank you!

[GORDON, spoken]
I'll have the ziti and a Diet Coke

[RHODA, spoken]
Uh, okay, and I will have the goat cheese salad–no cheese

[GORDON, spoken]
Oh, thank you

[RHODA, spoken]
So, talk to me!

[GORDON]
He's taking up the brunt of my time

I don't have time to write
My real stuff
But I feel stuff
I can't express
What I mean to convey
So of course I didn't
Write enough today!

I hate Mr. Bungee

Why does Mr. Bungee hate me?

Oh, God!

As you can tell
I don't write well for frogs!
[RHODA, spoken]

It's called a job

You're a mess!

If you don't keep writing you'll be shown the door
You know Mr. Bungee hates you

I think he hates you more

First off:
You've gotta finish a song!

You scoff
But dammit write the Spring Song
Write the Yes Song
Don't let your career
Go to the dogs!
(MR. BUNGEE enters.)

[MR. BUNGEE]
Mr. Bungee is aquatic
And despotic!

Mr. Bungee's oceanic
And satanic!
Nyahaha!
Mr. Bungee's said to be
Tyrannical at times
But Mr. Bungee always rhymes!

Whee!

(spoken)
Oh, sure!

Ha!

Him, a Broadway show?
I don't think so!
[GORDON, spoken]

I'm having frog hallucinations

He's not here right now, is he?

[WAITRESS]
I love Mr. Bungee
Yes indeed-y
Here's your ziti
I love Mr. Bungee
When he makes his scenes

I love Mr. Bun–
Did someone order scallopini?
I love Mr. Bungee
Here's your Diet Coke
And here's your greens!
I love Mr. Bungee
I love Mr. Bungee!

[RHODA]
First write your song then next
You'll write the epic

First kids, TV, then next
The Broadway shows

It's a rocky road from lily pad
To where you want to get to, dear, but
Rhoda always knows...

[GORDON]
Inside me I feel washed up and through

Writing this shit's killed my talent

And whatever's left to kill
Then Bungee will grind that down to squat!
I used to be!

I was!

I once was but I'm
Not!

(spoken)
Oh my...
Not a...

(sung)
Something is wrong

Something is wrong

(spoken)
Something is very, very, very–
Wrong
[RHODA, spoken]

Oh, come on, Gordon

That is not true!

(sung)
You're still!

I don't agree!

(spoken)
Hey!

Hey, come on, sit down

Gordon, are you OK?

Gordon, you're scaring me...
(GORDON collapses, his head hitting his plate.)