Portrait in the Manor

One, two, three, four

"I'm not that girl anymore" or is that just a cop-out?
Yes, I'm still the same girl, but my outlook has changed
Well, things got pretty dark for a bit, but now I'm on the upswing, and better prepared for the ifs and whens ahead

"Hey, anyway”
You look like you haven't slept in weeks
Please take my bed, I'll sleep on the couch
Tired thing, go get some rest

There were times where I wanted to die, where every word I spokе was a lie
It's still hard to look back on, everything I kеpt locked inside

Dear me, what a pretentious thing to say!
But now that's something I know too
The way they look away and say "god bless" like it's the only way to save me
From my eyeliner

I was the portrait in the manor whose eyes follow you wherever you go
I was twenty-one years old and sixty-five and ten all at once

I'm trying to give this up, I'm trying not to cut myself off from much needed closure