Portrait

[INTRO]
Ay, man. Remember that bandcamp shit I told you about? Yeah, they liked our song ‘Givin Up’. Pack your bags, man. We’re going to New York

[VERSE 1]

Maybe I should’ve run it by my head before I done it
Maybe I should’ve put some more thought before I swung it
I guess that is what I wanted. All the attention I couldn’t stomach
All the adrenaline, I said ‘Fuck it!’. Living the American dream on a budget
Gentlemen supported me like it was genuine, they never judged it
Hoist me up like a specimen, shit was my medicine
My methamphetamine, made me special and all wanted to visit
Being influential and treat me like a veteran. Felt like I had won it
Young and desperate with attention all over my mental
Dumb and guess it was another dimension. Life was quite gentle
Hung on fake press kits. My contention for everything- the instrumental
Sung and unless it was my ascension. Made it monumental
Bunk class. Less strict was life. Mention ego feeding was elemental?
Tongue in cheek. Loved it. Extension period was fundamental
Numb I had become. Didn’t help it. Emotions others. Got judgmental
End it and confess it. But in motion, shit, pride trampled
[INTERLUDE 1]
Hello? Yeah. Oh, thanks man. Yeah, it’s great. Yeah, next June. No, it’s all expenses paid and shit. Yeah, a concert. Thanks man. Hold up. I got someone else on the other line. Hello? Oh, thanks a lot. Yeah, it’s in June. Yeah, the garden. Madison Square Garden. I was just thinking about…

[VERSE 2]

While living my selfish fantasy I was uprooting others dreams
Giving them hope. After they believed what it seemed
Why would he think that there’s a strategy? We were a great team
Shit fell on my shoulders substantially. Lying became a regime
Lying to friends. Lying to family. Lying to every breathing being
A line in the sand. Uncannily, I couldn’t see
Denying my insanity and it lowered my self esteem
Lacked the spine to stop the inhumanity and come clean with my scheme
I’d do anything to take it back now
Want to come clean but can’t. I’m a coward
The dopamine, shit was unseen and I was showered
With love and the teen was slowly devoured
By his own lust and greed for the power
And if tomorrow I do achieve, the shit that I encountered
Will hold me back. And believe me now that
The time is here indeed, I can’t do nothing but anticipate and cower

[INTERLUDE 2]

Hello? Oh, yeah. They didn’t approve the visa, man. Yeah, tell me about it. Some other time, I guess. Hold up, I got someone else on the other line. Shit. Better put this shit on airplane mode. I can’t deal with this shit no more. Goddamn it

[VERSE 3]

The time is finally here and here I go lying again
I try to go quietly how visa won’t let me fly and then
I did the crime and the irony that I’m still trying that
People behind my back still like me. This anxiety, man
Defying people that are here to spite me. Outcasted by society
My mind asks me to quietly sit back. I’m dying
Declining health and ideally, I’d turn to my friends
My family, my brother but he hasn’t talked in months
I guess this is how its supposed to be. Maybe it’d be normal
Feel blessed to have that know but don’t be abnormal
Feel depressed that the ghost of my past is now immortal
Must confess that those happiness short lived was not worth it
Its four years and I still ponder why I did it
The curator of my own demise, I should’ve killed it
Friends live like ten minutes away but don’t visit
Separated like a traitor. I’m deserving it all. It’s perfect now. Is it?

[OUTRO]

Let me call him, see if he wants to hang out or maybe work on something
*Phone rings. No answer*