Porn Does Good

[Intro, Spoken]
Hello, everybody! Um, this is Marina. I just learned to play three chords on my new, um, baby pink ukulele. I play like a child. Don't care, 'cause it's helped me write a wonderful song, um, called Porn Does Good. It's about people never admitting to, um, watching porn, girls and boys. Maybe some of you haven't. Maybe some of you have! So, whether you have or haven't, um, I reckon you should learn this song and walk down the street and sing it out loud with pride. Um, uh... [laughs] And, um, yeah. I would love if you did that and I would even love it if you video'd it and sent it to me. [laughs]
Because I don’t think anyone would actually do that

[Verse 1]
I'd rather go home and watch pornography alone
I've got a big collection, a really huge selection
And if I'm really desperate, I'll call my ex up
And have sex on the phone
It beats orgasming alone

[Chorus]
Porn is good for the soul
But it doesn't leave you feeling very whole
Unless you own a good dildo
But then I bet you think I'm a whore

[Verse 2]
Sex is a drug, so throw me a bone
It's so innocent, that's why I always go home alone
'Cause I'm feeling ashamed that I feel like a boy
Oh, women are meant to act coy
That's why we've bought all these toys

[Chorus]
Porn is good for the soul
But it doesn't always leave you feeling whole
Unless you own a good dildo
But then you'll all think I'm a whore

[Outro]
I don't care
I don't care
I don't care