Poor Unfortunate Souls

[Verse 1: Ursula]
I admit that, in the past, I've been a nasty
They weren't kidding when they called me, well, "a witch"
But you'll find that nowadays I've mended all my ways
Repented, seen the light, and made a switch
True? Yes

And I fortunately know a little magic
It's a talent that I always have possessed
And here lately, please don't laugh
I use it on behalf of the miserable, lonely, and depressed
"Pathetic"

[Chorus]
Poor unfortunate souls in pain, in need
This one longing to be thinner
This one wants to get the girl
And do I help them? Yes, indeed
Those poor unfortunate souls
So sad, so true
They come flocking to my cauldron
Crying, "Spells, Ursula, please!"
And I help them!
Yes, I do

[Post-Chorus]
Now, it's happened once or twice
Someone couldn't pay the price
And I'm afraid I had to rake them 'cross the coals
Yes, I've had the odd complaint
But on the whole I've been a saint
To those poor unfortunate souls

[Ursula]
Now, here's the deal: If you dare
There's a potion I’ll prepare
Just consume and you’ll be human
Three whole days up above

By the end of day 3
Listen up this is key
Just convince Mr. Prince
And get a kiss of true love

[Ariel]
If I do?

[Ursula]
Lucky you
You stay human through and through
You can go, wed your beau
And be totally divine

[Ariel]
And if not?

[Ursula]
Then guess what, girl?
You’ll turn back into a Mer-Girl
Same as you once were, girl
But that tail will be mine!
Don't be shy, dear
What will it be?
You want the guy, dear?
Leave it to me

[Ariel]
But what about my father?
And my family?

[Ursula]
Hmm...
Sorry, dear
There's no way to spin it
Life's full of tough choices, innit?
One last thing, silly me
Did I mention there's a fee?
Nothing choice, just your voice
No more talking, singing, zip

[Ariel]
Not a word?

[Ursula]
Not a note
Not a whisper from your throat

[Ariel]
But--

[Ursula]
Show some spine, you'll be fine
Honey, here's a little tip:
You'll have your looks!
Your pretty face!
And don't underestimate the importance of body language, ha!

[Verse 3]
The men up there don't like a lot of blabber
They think a girl who gossips is a bore
Yes, on land it's much preferred
For ladies not to say a word
And after all, dear, what is idle babble for?

[Chorus]
Come on, you poor unfortunate soul
Go ahead, make your choice!
I'm a very busy woman
And I haven't got all day
It won't cost much
Just your voice!
You poor unfortunate soul
It's sad, but true
If you want to cross a bridge, my sweet
You've got to pay the toll
Take a gulp and take a breath
And go ahead and sign the scroll!
Flotsam, Jetsam, now I've got her, boys!
The boss is on a roll!
Those poor unfortunate souls
Beluga, sevruga
Come winds of the Caspian Sea
Larengix glaucitis
Et max laryngitis
La voce to me
Now... sing

[Ariel]
Aa-aa-aah, a-aa-aah

[Ursula]
Keep singing!

[Ariel]
Aa-aa-aah, a-aa-aah