Pockets

[Chorus]
I got a lot, I got a lot of pockets
And in my pockets I got a lot of objects
Anything you want I bet I probably got it
‘Cause I got an awful lot in my pockets
I got a lot, I got a lot of pockets
And in my pockets I got a lot of objects
Maybe I’m a hoarder or whatever you call it
But yeah, I got a lot of stuff in my pockets

[Verse 1]
What I’m always telling you? PKW
Phone, keys, wallet, Ilana, PKW
I’m running through an inventory of my pockets
Phone, keys, wallet, wallet, keys, phone, wallet – got it
Check them off the list and see what we missed
Got a cool mint spritzer in a Listerine Mist
Next to a Chapstick, flavor: original
Four black rubber gloves, I ain’t even kidding, y’all
I got a handkerchief and half a pack of Chiclets
A gold adapter and some old raffle tickets
Eleven ultra lights left in a pack
A fresh Bic lighter (What color is it?) black, duh
A paperclip, a Duane Reade receipt
Apple earbuds and a couple of beats
A fine point roller ball, a notebook too
In which I wrote these lyrics and drew pictures of dicks

[Chorus]
I got a lot, I got a lot of pockets
And in my pockets I got a lot of objects
Anything you want I bet I probably got it
‘Cause I got an awful lot in my pockets
I got a lot, I got a lot of pockets
And in my pockets I got a lot of objects
Maybe I’m a hoarder or whatever you call it
But yeah, I got a lot of stuff in my pockets

[Verse 2]
And if it gets intense, I got a leather collar
I got fifty cents and forty-seven dollars
A lucky talisman, a foot from a rabbit, son
Half a dozen bullets though I never really had a gun
A cookie fortune with a sick prediction
Sixty doses each of my six prescriptions
A macaroni poster that a little kid made
A switchblade comb, also got a switchblade
A broken bracelet that states I’m living fabulous
A room key card from the Hyatt Minneapolis
I have a hammer, I got a power sander
And a mint condition ’82 Cobra Commander
I got power chargers and batteries for days
Talking 9 volts, D-cells, triple double A’s
An inaccurate schematic for a nuclear bomb
And an autographed photograph of me and your mom

[Chorus]
I got a lot, I got a lot of pockets
And in my pockets I got a lot of objects
Anything you want I bet I probably got it
‘Cause I got an awful lot in my pockets
I got a lot, I got a lot of pockets
And in my pockets I got a lot of objects
Maybe I’m a hoarder or whatever you call it
But yeah, I got a lot of stuff in my pockets

[Verse 3]
I got some coasters and coke mirrors and frisbees
And every CD every local band ever gives me
I got a sailboat, it’s got a missing rudder
Got a loaf of bread, container of milk, a stick of butter
An untouched 35mm print of Star Wars
A peanut butter cup, a couple of car doors
From a DeLorean, a portrait of Dorian
I got a bunch of live goddamn scorpions
I got a mannequin and a jack-o-lantern
A bottle of pinot and a glass decanter
I got bedbugs, a slug bug and a pair of pliers
I got earplugs, a butt plug, I’m wearing a wire
A full set of horseshoes and a pony bridle
An ice sculpture of a moose on a motorcycle
The Mona Lisa crafted in ceramic beads
Got a pepperoni pizza and a bag of weed