Piddle, Twiddle, And Resolve

[ADAMS, spoken]
Dear God! For one solid year, they have been sitting here! A whole year! Doing nothing!

(sung)
I do believe you've laid a curse on
North America
A curse that we here now rehearse in
Philadelphia
A second flood, a simple famine
Plagues of locusts everywhere
Or a cataclysmic earthquake
I'd accept with some despair

But no, you sent us Congress
Good God, sir, was that fair?

You see, we piddle, twiddle, and resolve
Not one damn thing do we solve
Piddle, twiddle, and resolve
Nothing's ever solved in
Foul, fetid, fuming, foggy, filthy
Philadelphia

[CONGRESSMAN]
Someone ought to open up a window!

[ADAMS]
Oh, good God!

[ABIGAIL]
John, John, is that you carrying on?
John?

[ADAMS, spoken]
Oh, Abigail, Abigail, I have such a desire to knock heads together!

[ABIGAIL, spoken]
Then why in heaven's name do you stay there? Come home to Boston, John, it's only 300 miles. If you left tonight you could be here in only eight days

[ADAMS, spoken]
How can I do that, Abigail? I'm no further along now than I was when I first came here!

[ABIGAIL, spoken]
I know, my dearest, I know. But that's because you make everything so complicated. It's all quite simple, really

(sung)
Just tell the Congress to declare
Independency
Then sign your name, get out of there and
Hurry home to me

Our children all have dysentery
Little Tom keeps turning blue
Little Abby has the measles
And I'm coming down with flu
They say we may get smallpox

[ADAMS, spoken]
Uh, madam, what else is new?

Abigail, in my last letter, I wrote you that the King had collected 12,000 German mercenaries to send against us. I asked you to organize the ladies to make saltpeter for gunpowder. Now have you done as I asked?

[ADAMS, spoken]
Well why have you not?

By treating sodium nitrate with potassium chloride, of course!

Will it be done then?

More urgent, madam?
[ABIGAIL, spoken]
No, John, I have not

Because you neglected to tell us how saltpeter is made!

Oh, yes, of course!

John, I'm afraid we have a more urgent problem.
[ABIGAIL, sung]
There's one thing every woman's missed in
Massachusetts Bay
Don't smirk at me, you egotist, pay
Heed to what I say
We've gone from Framingham to Boston
And we cannot find a pin!
"Don't you know there's war on?"
Say the tradesmen with a grin
Well, we will not make saltpeter
Until you send us pins!

[ADAMS, spoken]
Pins, madam?
Saltpeter!

Saltpeter!

Saltpeter!

Saltpeter!

'Peter!

'Peter!

'Peter!

'PETER!

Done, madam. Done

Oh, as soon as I'm able

Every day, my dearest friend

(sung)
Till then
I am
As I ever was
And ever shall be
Yours
Yours
Yours
Yours
Yours

Saltpeter, John

[ABIGAIL, spoken]
Pins!

Pins!

Pins!

Pins!

Pins!

Pins!

Pins!

...Pins

Done, John
Hurry home, John

Don't stop writing. It's all I have

(sung)
Till then
Till then
I am
As I ever was
And ever shall be
Yours
Yours
Yours
Yours
Yours

Pins, Abigail
[CONGRESS]
For God's sake, John, sit down