Photo Finish

At seven this morning I got on the phone
And said to hold my bronc as long as you can
My car broke down in Billings and they just got it back together
I'll be photo finishin' in to old Cheyenne

Well, here I am in Sheridan and it's 9 o'clock in the morning
And time's a-going fast
I just pulled her over had some coffee and a donut
And I bought the car a brand new tank of gas

Well, I don't know if I'm gonna make it, it's nine-fifteen
I'll be lucky if I ever get there
By God, what it that I hear, is it a siren?
Sure enough, he got me on his radar

He pulled up behind me and turned on those flashing lights
A sign that I knew meant pull it over
So I stomped on my brakes and as I slid 'er to a halt
I wiped out three reflector posts along the shoulder

He got outta his car and was a-walkin' real slow
So I jumped out and met him half-way
He jerked out his gun and said, "Mister are you crazy?
I ain't never seen nobody drive that way"

I told him take it easy and he could put up that cannon
The way he was shakin' it just might go off
He put up the gun as I explained my situation
He listened to my story, then he coughed

He wrote me out a ticket, that seemed to take forever
I took it and as I headed for my car
That cop, he hollered after me and said, "Hey, cowboy
You better slow down cause you can't outrun this radar"

As I rolled on down the road I was a-cursin' and a-swearing
About the ticket that I had just acquired
I wondered if I ought to pay it or just throw it out the window
But I might just set the damn thing afire

So I gunned it once again and was a-traveling down the highway
With the gas pedal a-mashed to the floor
When I came around a curve and right there in the highway
There was more damn sheep than I ever seen before

I'm goin' too fast to ever stop, so I just close my eyes
As the car roars on through the herd
When I opened up my eyes again there's a sheep on the fender
And that herder's saying some mighty awful words

The sweat's a-drippin' off my hands as I barrel through old Wheatland
I'm a nervous wreck and I must be a sight
The flies inside this old car are buzzin' all around me
Guess my 24-hour deodorant quit last night

Sixty, fifty, forty, thirty, twenty miles more
The rodeo starts in another eighteen minutes
I pull in through the main gate and I hear the anthem playing
I can't believe it, thank God I finally made it

There's only one more obstacle a-standing in my way
It's a nitwit with a weekend badge
He standing by the gate and as I slide her to a halt
He yells "Where in the hell you goin' so doggone fast?"

I tell him that I'm entered and I ain't got time to talk
My horse is in the chute and I'm late
He says I need to get a pass from the secretary
My eyes get red, my heart fills up with hate

I yell, "You dirty so-and-so, you better let me through"
He asked if I'd repeat that once again
So I whacked him in the mouth and a-left him lyin' there
On his back a-kicking in the sand

I got there just in time to see my bronc come runnin' out
His head and tail was a-held way up high
I swear he looked right straight at me and grinned and gave horse laugh
And me, I just stood there and cried

I turned around feelin' helpless and fairly dumbfounded
I looked and what did I see
Three highway patrolmen and a gateman with a fat lip
And they were all a-lookin' right at me

Sittin' in the cell now I've done a lot of thinkin'
About that wild run I made a month ago
I'm sorry that I'm in this rotten situation
If I could do it again I wouldn't have drove so slow
If I could do it again I wouldn't have drove so slow