PHONY

It’s odd
I ain’t no fraud but I feel awfully phony
Cause I got folks say they love me though I don’t even know me
At least I easily decipher between my foes and homies
My mind is both at times to vocalize it keeps me going

I drew a line in the sand and swore to never cross it
I knew the lies in my lines, I started forming boxes
Forgot that high tide would arrive and sure enough I lost it
Guess that’s the price of living paradoxes

The memories I recall feel like thеy someone elsе's
Just like the walls of my room, I watch, remaining helpless
There’s nothing that I could do, but maybe story-tell it
I hit the button- resume, but I don't like this segment

Don’t wanna skip to the future and miss out on these moments
Don’t wanna live in the past, but secretly condone it
Don’t wanna do this no more– a simple thought that crosses
So many shoes that I've worn, I know my soles exhausted

Don’t want your pity or praise, just wanna feel alignment
A different city nor day would free me from confinement
The only time I escape is when I close my eyelids
The only thing worse than suffering is suffering in silence

I thank the people that see me and truly listen to me
I wonder how they perceive me cause me I see right through me
My mind so active if it actualized it’d win olympics
It’d sweep the gold in overthinking and in reminiscing

The truth be told I truly call it just the way I see it
I know that bias resides, but mine is so depleted
My vision better than ever but it’s a lot to process
I'll do my best to keep from drawing boxes