Perfectionist

[Intro]
Yeah
I got to let this one breathe a lil' bit
9th Wonder
CHOMP 2.5
Yeah

[Verse]
I'm a recovering perfectionist, a self-destructive specialist
My thirty-second session with my therapist is evidence
That I can't see I've made it, I'm like Dee Brown, wow
I gotta couple chapters I'm ashamed to read out loud
I'm workin' on it, though, I'm tryna be more patient with myself
I robbed myself of so much joy, I'm making payments to myself
I'm still in debt though (Woo, woo)
Need to take my coat off, settle in, ignore the dress code
I know that the hardest step is walking past my threshold
I'm in my Depeche mode
Tryna just enjoy the silence, it's so hard to let go
Once I do, I'm free, I know it's me vs. me
I know it's not your job to reaffirm what I believe
I'm working on becoming the person I clearly need
So I don't look for what I lack in someone else, I see
That I'm still in the in-between
But finally, I voluntarily been takin' care of me
Was rarely there for me, my inner child's scared of me
I punished him unfairly, we need more solidarity
I don't care 'bout the people who base skills off popularity
When I can close my eyes and see myself, then I'll have clarity
I love the women who are in my life, 'specially Sara Lee
This industry's primarily fake, you can deny it
But you silent publicly but showin' love to me in private
All my wounds have told a story, all the laughs and money hide 'em
It's a shame the only language people speak sometimes is violence
But I don't got pity for people that play themselves
The bed they say's uncomfortable's the same bed that they made themselves
I'm showin' love they hate themselves
You cannot give them anything they haven't already gave themselves
You cannot save somebody if they simply don't wanna save themselves
I should've known what time it was
The stab in the back don't hurt, it's when you turn to see whose knife it was
I'm just tryna find the love
Lookin' everywhere but within
A white rapper is a fraction of the air that I'm in (For real)
An outsider from the jump, it took a minute to hit me
Why would I try to fit in with a industry that don't fit me? (Yeah)
This is simply testimonial, slowly pull back the layers
And get down to who I am because my fear is a container
Of my greatness, I hate this, wait this is just a test of patience
The pain from all my mistakes is just something I need more grace with
My bruises became my muses, my pain had multiple uses
Went from fuck y'all to forget y'all, from middle fingers to deuces

[Outro]
Deuces
Yeah, CHOMP 2.5
9th Wonder, from Secaucus to Atlanta
Haha