Pathetic

I don't like the things they do at parties
They get drunk and nobody's ever sorry
But I get offended when I'm not invited
Even though I know if I was there
I'd just be thinking "God, I wish I was home"

I want love, but I've got commitment issues
I cry all the time, I'm running out of tissues
I'm starting to think that I only let myself fall for the player type
'Cause it's too much pressure to be someone's everything all the time

I always complain that I feel like I don't feel have any real friends
When really I do, I just don't put in effort with any of them
I'm good at convincing myself that I'm alone
But maybe they'd ask to hang out
If I would just pick up my phone

Self sabotage gives me a round of applause
'Cause when life is going good, I'll find reasons why it's not
I cut people out, 'cause I can't stand a crowd
If I didn't get so homesick, I'd run straight out of this town
I'm the only one who doesn't want what's best for me
That's why a stranger looks at me and instantly feels sympathetic
Somehow I think that it's wrong for me to be happy
I sniff out all of the bad things 'cause I hate surprises
Isn't that pathetic?

I need a break from people when I'm with them too much
But when they do the same I think they must not like me that much
I'm insecure and it's become a joke among my group of friends
'Cause if I suspect someone might not like me the whole world ends

I lose my mind then meet a guy and think I found it
Then I get hurt and write a song or 5 about it
I barely knew him, but I cried for days when we were done
I have this habit I imagine every guy is the one
I see girls online then I look at my life and I pity myself
Why can't I have it all figured out like everyone else?
I know that there's millions of people who walk in my shoes
But my crippled ego believes no one's got it worse than I do

Self sabotage gives me a round of applause
'Cause when life is going good, I'll find reasons why it's not
I cut people out, 'cause I can't stand a crowd
If I didn't get so homesick, I'd run straight out of this town
I'm the only one who doesn't want what's best for me
That's why a stranger looks at me and instantly feels sympathetic
Somehow I think that it's wrong for me to be happy
I sniff out all of the bad things 'cause I hate surprises
Isn't that pathetic?

Looking back on my life, it's like watching a comedy
Evil laugh track plays on repeat again and again
My romantic life is more like a horror film
And all the good guys are killed ten seconds in
I'm not who I wanna be and I wish I could stay in my head
I wish I could stay in bed
'Cause the sun's too bright, it's hurting my eyes
Going outside gives me a migraine
I need to cut caffeine and hydrate
Listing all the things about me that I hate
All I did in a song was exaggerate
All I did in a song was to deprecate
'Cause we live in a world where it's glamourised
Where it's cool to have a pathetic life

We're doing fine
But who cares if you're not crying?
Isn't that pathetic?
We won't admit, we're doing fine