Pain in My Eyez

[Intro]
What's goin' on with you?
I can see it all over your face talkin' to me
You're makin' this harder for the both of us
Just tell me what's wrong
Is it me? Is it something that I did?
I can't read your mind, you have to talk to me

[Verse 1]
Lately these thoughts have been suicidal
Vital I use this median to escape for survival
Lookin' for ends, I been so poor and feelin' idle
Meanwhile, I'm shackin' my shorty, questionin' what's the title
Some things I just leave on read
Layin' down on my bed
Starin' up at the ceilin'
Wonderin' how to get feed
Overwhelmed by school, tryin' not to drop out
Paranoid, so the tool is present if they pop out
Anxiety racin'
Pacin' back and forth like a feen
Tired of hospitals, tired of funerals, since a teen, it's been reality
Lost my grandma, granddad and cousin in the same week
In public, fightin' back tears so I won't appear weak
Hard to keep peace
When you're late on your lease
When you're drownin' in debt
And harassed by police
People care about dogs more than mass incarnation
Yet cops are killin' our dogs but
There is no conversation, tell me why

[Chorus]
Wrestle with my conscious, it's a slap fight
Loaded my subconscious, keep me up nights
Like liquor in my blood but it burns nice
Uh, shakey on my feet like my first bike
Words flavors sweet like that first bite
Weren't there for me on my first night
Words failing me for the first time, yeah
Please don't let me down
You know I need you around me

[Interlude]
When did you get this way?
When did we get this way?
I just, I'm runnin' out of answers to be honest

[Verse 2]
I've seen Heaven, seen Hell
The two sides of ATL
One side creates, the other side kills
One side gives, the other side steals
Kick doors and hit licks
Get a fix or flip bricks
I stayed inside, not to hide, but my pride and joy was the music
As a getaway, I would use to free my mind from reality every day
'Cause honestly, I felt pain in every way
I'm a product of a broken home
Mother alone
But I'm good with dad
She made sure by any means that I always had
Even when the water wasn't on
Or the cable, she was able to keep food at the table
The sad reality, she only could do so much
Man of the house before ten, she used me as a crutch
I saw things that I should never see
Heard screams, paralyzed with fear, I used to env me for not doin' a thing
I used to envy my stepmom and my dad
I used to envy my brothers and the lifestyle that they had
Visitin' every other weekend felt like a vacay
Go out and then church the followin' day
That side felt like the Cosby's then I had to go back
To Ellenwood area where the hysteria was at
Made me a man
Partially made me bitter, instilled resentment I tucked away
Dramatically changed me 'til this very day

[Chorus]
Wrestle with my conscious, it's a slap fight
Loaded my subconscious, keep me up nights
Like liquor in my blood but it burns nice
Uh, shakey on my feet like my first bike
Words flavors sweet like that first bite
Weren't there for me on my first night
Words failing me for the first time, yeah
Please don't let me down
You know I need you around me