​​overthinking

[Verse 1]
I’mma tell this story with no mic around
You should congratulate me, it took a lot to write it down
I’d rather suffer in the noise than sit with quiet sounds
You want me walking in my truth, well I’mma try it now
You know I took a winding road with my mental health
And for the longest time I thought I did it by myself
The liquid running from my eyes is not a cry for help
I didn’t blink the whole time so I wouldn’t miss the exit
I got pulled over two minutes later, that shit was stressful
If you knew what I was high off of, you would’ve caved my chest in
Wish for protection over my life
Open my eyes, the cop said I hopе you learned your lesson
Not to bе speeding, for no reason
I had you on the phone heaving, felt like a heathen
I left my coat at home knowing it was cold
But knowing the place I had to go, I prolly wouldn’t need it
I tried to drive into a pole, I prolly didn’t mean it
But all of the shit I was seeing, my future being, had me agreeing
To skipping seasons, and prior events of that evening
Left me depleted, the way I treated it was treason
Kept my eyes on the clock so I wouldn’t miss the message
I saw your birth time last night, that’s classic misdirection
I know you don’t want shit to do with me
Since you decided you was through with me, I built a newer me
Now they’ll sit and sing all my songs instead of eulogy
Excuse my digression
I just got caught up in a text message I received while I was doing this session
The only thing better than knowing is just asking a question
Got a little off topic but that’s at my discretion
And it don’t take a whole lot for shit to grab my attention
It’s important that I tell you that so that the next part makes sense
Cause lately all my overthinking been relentless

[Verse 2]
Forgot to mention I was staying at my boy Wam crib
It wasn’t thirty minutes it wasn’t red in my eyes
Took an L ride to go and serve one of the guys
But something in the back of my head said something ain’t right
You ain’t picking up your phone, that ain’t much a surprise
Except the last talk we had, you said you wanted to die
I grabbed my keys off the counter now I’m speeding through lights
Held my motherfucking breath until my street was in sight
I ain’t had much experience talking you off a ledge
But the way we ended things, I thought I got in your head
Now my overthinking telling me it’s something I said
Cause that’s the same night I confessed to you just what I did
Maybe you thought I was right
Your car sat in the driveway, you must be alright
And now I’m kicking myself, I did a dangerous drive
But still something in my brain ain’t say that was a lie
Let me check the inside
All I heard was the song
Half glass full of wine, phone sat on the table
Heart doubled in size, but the beats ain’t stable
Man this must be fake, is what I’m telling myself
Our picture sat on the shelf
I tried calling your name but I couldn’t muster a yell
It give me chills thinking about how sequestered I felt
Every time I checked another room I covered my face
Tryna protect myself from something that I thought was the case
The conversations replay
How could I be so stupid leaving you there with your thoughts
Regardless of the times you left me fumbling in the dark
Saying it’s all in my head, not taking me serious
How the fuck we get here, you understood me as well
Oh how lonely we felt
I checked every room in the house thinking I’d find you a shell
But you was nowhere to be found, so I went back outside
I saw you walking up the hill and I just broke down crying
Overthinking