Outlet

Thinkin' back when I was only eight or nine
Feels like yesterday. Oh how time does fly
Back then, I said, "Momma, imma be fine."
But back then I couldn’t say that while looking her in the eye

Once again I find myself, looking in the mirror
What do I like about me? Damn, I start to tear up
Mumble, I say nothing. I said nothing
My sister sitting there but she ain't hearing
Tears run down my face, while we hugging
Never had demons before, but they getting near me
They were never there at Auntie Barb's Thanksgiving
I wish I could go back to the beginning
This used to be the place I could hide behind the door
But home don’t feel like home anymore
I didn't always feel this goddamn sore
I didn't always want to pour and pour and-
I didn't always sleep on the goddamn floor
But if someone else need it, I'm the last to roar
Lately, I've been feeling like I washed up on the shore
I went out to explore, but came to a war. And I ask

What for?
What for?
I ask, why we gotta fight
What for?

I'm not special
I'm not special, no
I’m no different from you
And you no different from me

This is only part one
After help, I might make two
Will I even get help though?
I guess we’ll have to wait and see
It's been awhile since I genuinely smiled
I’m asking what happened to me
I didn't always be like this, I used to be fun
At least my sister's got something, she goes out and runs
My momma says that I should find an outlet
What she don't know is that she listen to it now
I really, really hope that she feel proud
I really, really hope I don’t die before I bow
But that gon' be hard if I always got this cloud
And I always got this cloud, always got this cloud
Because my love life is hopeless, my thoughts ain't ropeless
If you feelin' hopeless, you go ahead and quote this