Out of options

What if all this was for nothing?
But I know that it wasn’t

Cuz I know it gave something
I wasn’t as hopeless as I was when

I didn’t have something to motivate me
To get up in the morning

No wonders I’m this annoyed with
Always ending up unemployed if

I even opened up my mouth
It’s preferred if I go with

The herd of no personalities
Where no one shows emotions

We’re forced to withhold it
But no one even once told us

That this was what life is about
But I wasn’t about to cop out

Have too much still to talk about
This time I thought it out

Reaching my deepest
To each and one of you now

Lets trade shoes a while
Then use it how

You feel it’s suitable
And if u misuse it I’ll

Find a way to utilize
What you might’ve thought

More prejudice than a juvenal
New denial isn’t soothing now

Got nothing to prove no more
Know what I’m doing now

Beyond approval about
On what I’m writing down

Know I can figure this out, no doubt
I’m growing dependent on this

But as long as I’m the one
Who’s doing all the deciding I won’t quit
Heart on my sleeve cuz it don’t fit

Behind my ribcage cuz this void is
Consuming all hope I would avoid this

Assuming if I’m broke and can’t afford it
With time I lose sight of what’s important

And fall back into the line and choose to forfeit
Incorporated in my spine to force this morbid

Excuse of passing time, at times enormous
Clouds orbit around, I’m too torn to sort this
Bipolar mind and each side is morphing

Into a complete torture, can’t afford to
Continue more if the feeling is forceful

Unremorseful, tired of open up doors to
People too weak to be resourceful

Gotta put myself first, and make it forth to
Front lines or crawl back to a distort view

Cuz I donno where to resort to
When it feels like I’m out of options to go through